Don’t say, "Act your age!" The therapist says that this is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "Instead, “come up with an effective response instead of a reaction.” Of course she can’t give you the “effective response” because then she’d be blamed if it didn’t work. It is assumed that in a parents very busy day they have nothing but time to go through a list of things to say to your eight year old, laying on the floor in the middle of a grocery store having a tantrum.
Don’t say, "Don't you get it?" if your child doesn’t understand how to do something after many unsuccessful tries. Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren says that “Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?” She suggest that the parent steps away from trying to teach a child something, perhaps research alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn and go back to them again and teach it.
And this last one is my favorite. Don’t say "I'm going to leave without you!" Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker and mother of four boys says that saying this results in the child quickly learning that parents make empty threats. The doctor’s suggestion is this: "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out."