A CHOCOLATE A DAY DOES NOT KEEP THE POUNDS AWAY

 

Hello readers.  I’m Beatrice Bell or Bea as my friends call me.  I don’t have to tell those of you who follow our Grandmothers, Incorporated adventure series that my friends and I are detectives.  I ran across something a few weeks ago that couldn’t help but challenge me to sniff out the truth.

Like many people, I wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds.  So, when I first heard that chocolate might be good for weight loss, my ears perked up.  The story was all over the news and the internet.  Happy day!  I didn’t waste my time or taste buds on cheap chocolate.  For a week I ate the good, expensive stuff.  My reasoning was that the quality of the chocolate would probably speed up my weight loss.

My detective sense started to tingle when a little known heredity gene kicked in.  My grandmother called it ‘mother wit’; you may know it as common sense.  Eat chocolate every day and lose weight faster?  Really?  There was another clue that made me suspicious.  When I put on my favorite pair of jeans I couldn’t zip them up!  I knew it was time to investigate this eat chocolate and lose    weight claim because something wasn’t right.

I was reading the Wall Street Journal (yes, I do that every once in a while) and I ran across a story about a science journalist named John Bohannan.  It seems this Bohannan, was a sort of watch dog of other scientist.  With the help of fellow colleagues he rigged a “scientific” study, wrote a paper about chocolate being a weight-loss accelerator and sent it to science journals for publication to see if anybody would challenge the study.

The next thing you know, nearly every media outlet you can name was reporting the story without checking the facts.  According to the article I read, most reporters didn’t challenge a single word of the study.  They didn’t even Google the “German Science Institute” that supposedly did the study.  If they had they would have found that it was phony.  It doesn’t exist!

I’ve managed to lose the five pounds I gained during my week-long chocolate diet.  Like I always say:  if it sounds too good to be true...” 

Thanks Wall Street Journal for pointing out the hoax, but being the crack investigator that I am, I already had it figured out.

YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!

Hello people, this is Bea Bell writing to you this month and I’m going to get serious.  I’ m not a cussing woman, but there’s something happening in this country that’s got me mad as hell!

I’m a woman in her sixties and, thank goodness, I’m in pretty good health.  I’m lucky enough to still enjoy the privilege of being covered by my late husband’s health insurance and it’s a really good policy, but like so many others, it doesn’t cover everything.  Recently, I had toenail fungus, which is nothing fatal and, according to my podiatrist, fairly common.  From what I understand it can be caused by something as normal as wearing closed-toe shoes, or getting an unsanitary pedicure.  People who suffer from diabetes or HIV often have it too.

The results of toe fungus can be pretty unsightly.  The toenail gets thick and changes color.  I know vanity is a sin, but I’ve got to admit I didn’t like what I saw.  I wanted my pretty, pick toenails back so I could wear my sandals in the summer.  So when the foot doctor told me about a new medicine that was on the market more effective than any he’d seen, I couldn’t get to the pharmacy quick enough to purchase my prescription.  I was more than ready to cover the deductible so that I could take the miracle cure home and start my treatments.

My first surprise was when the pharmacist informed me that my insurance wouldn’t cover the medication.  Taking a deep breath, I resolved that I was going to have this medication whether it was covered or not.  How much could it cost?  $50, $100?  Maybe a little more, but I had to have my pink toes back!  I swallowed and the conversation went something like this:

“Okay, how much is it?”

“Eleven hundred dollars.”

I was certain that I hadn’t heard him right.  “Did you say $11.00?

“Eleven hundred dollars.” 

The pharmacist didn’t crack a smile, although I was sure she was joking. 

“Eleven hundred dollars?”  I croaked.  She nodded, and I laughed and laughed and laughed. 

The price of that medicine was the best joke I’d heard in a long time.  My prescription was for a foot cream, not some life saving remedy!  What could possibly be in the stuff that would make it cost so much?  Once I recovered from my fit of laughter, and told her to keep the medicine, I walked away from that counter thinking that for some people the price of medication isn’t a joke.

There are plenty of folks out there who need life saving medicines that are as ridiculously expensive as that foot cream.  The prices that pharmaceutical companies are charging for these and other medications is nothing but highway robbery.  People are put in jail for stealing much less! 

I’ve worked in city government, so I’m pretty aware of some of the tactics of politicians.   Since the federal government lets these companies get away with it, my best guess is that members of Congress, the pharmaceutical and insurance industries are in cahoots in this travesty.  They’re stealing from the people of the United States of America as surely as though they hit us over the head and picked our pockets.  I’ve heard that in Canada and other foreign companies the same medicines cost much less.  What’s the excuse for that?  Tell me we’re not being robbed!

It’s time for the American people to rise up, take Congress to task and let them know we’re sick of it.  We should tell Congress, we’re sick of this b*ll sh*t and we’re not going to take it anymore.”  For the pharmaceutical companies, I only have four words for them:  You make me sick!

ANOTHER BOOK? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!

Hi folks, this is Miss Fanny and all I've got to say for my little stint on this blog is those Grandmothers, Incorporated writers are at it again!  Lord have mercy, it seems like those two women are always telling our business.  They've been working nonstop trying to get their next cozy mystery out.  It's called Whose Knife is it Anyway?  In that book they're going to tell the world what happened when Bea, Hattie, Connie and me went on a retreat in the woods with a bunch of feuding church ladies. It wasn't pretty, especially when we found a dead body--but, that's another story.  Let me get back to the latest fast one Evans and Rhodes are pulling.

It's not enough that they had us characters from the Grandmothers, Incorporated novels in a play Off Broadway titled like their first novel, Grandmothers, Incorporated, but the heifers turned around and put Hattie and me alone in another play they wrote titled Stake Out.  That one turned out to be one of the ten top grossing plays in the 10th Annual Indy Fringe Theatre Festival.

Now, they've got the nerve to come out with a new book that contains both plays!  The book is titled From the Page to the Stage: Two Plays for Women.  One play is a two act and the other one is a one act play, so they made sure that there's something for everybody, and they're selling From the Page to the Stage:  Two Plays for Women on Amazon.com and Smashwords.com.  None of the storylines in either play has anything to do with the storylines in the books they write about us.  It seems that every time the ladies and me find ourselves in a couple of brand new situations the next thing you know, Evans and Rhodes are in our business--again.  Obviously, they think our lives are funny, since both plays are comedies.

Is there no end to them exploiting us?  Where's the justice?  Don't we have a say in all this?  I guess as long as we keep having adventures, Bea, Hattie, Connie and me will be giving them something to write about.  What a life!

The link to purchase From the Page to the Stage:  Two Plays for Women is www.amazon.com/dp/B00W7IGI68

 

STRANGE PRIORITIES

     I paid a visit to a friend, an old lady who recently turned 95 years old.  She said to me, "Connie, I never thought I would end up like this."  She lives in a nursing home.  I'm Connie Palmer and I have know Miss Lydia since I was a little girl.  She and her husband never had children and since I found out she was in a facility, I make it my business to check on her.

     When she first went to the nursing home, it was clean, comfortable and full of seemingly caring and competent people.  I later learned that new management took over.  They began to cut corners on patient care.  They laid off aides and nurses and removed some of the management staff.  In other words, they made big changes for the worse.

     The makeup of the aide staff seemed to change every week.  The low morale meant that they constantly argued among themselves, often in the halls where the patients could hear.  The food was inedible.  There were shortages of gowns and towels, and medical equipment was so inadequate that patients who needed special help waited for hours.

     On that particular day, I found Miss Lydia in her room crying softly as she sat in her wheel chair.  By this time, she had grown feeble and requirement assistance for most of her needs.  The next day, I made new arrangements for Miss Lydia.

     I know you're asking what this has got to do with me, the reader.  Just this:  the cost-cutting decisions of that facility were made on a profit basis.  I directed my anger from the aides to administrators and government regulators.  The aides were expected to give basic care--duties that were often distasteful to them and demeaning to the patients--for paltry pay.  No wonder staff turn-over  was mind boggling.

     We say we respect our elders, just as we give lip service to the preciousness of our children.  Yet, workers who care for both children and the elderly are sadly underpaid.

     I enjoy a good burger as much as the next person, but if i were going to fight for anyone's pay to be raised, it wouldn't be for fast food workers, but for those workers who take care of our most precious resources, our children and the elderly.  Let's get our priorities straight.

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER ADVENTURE

 

Hello All,

 

Hope this year will be as good to you as the ladies of Grandmothers, Incorporated think it will be for us.  Actually, I'm really not a part of the foolishness that Bea, Hattie and Connie seem to conjure up, but I'm sure there'll be a lot of mess going on when that new book in their series comes out.

 

The name of the book is Whose Knife is it Anyway?  And I've heard that it's a doozy.  It's got murder, mystery, mayhem and of course lots of laughs.  I got a sneak peek and I'll share a bit of what I saw with you.

 

It seems that in this book my daughter-in-law, Hattie, comes up with this hare-brained idea to take a bunch of feuding church ladies out in the woods on a weekend retreat.  Can you imagine?  What is a bunch of city dwelling grandmas going to do stuck in the middle of nowhere but trash talk and gossip!  Well, of course I had to go along to see this fiasco, and that's when the fun begins.

 

Come back and visit us over the next few months, and the ladies and me might give you a taste of some of the things that's likely to happen.  Until then...

 

 

IT'S BEEN A GREAT YEAR!

Hi Folks!  Season's Greetings from all of us--Bea, Hattie, Connie and Miss Fanny.  The year 2014 has been a fantastic one for our creators, L. Barnett Evans and C.V. Rhodes.

It started with the release of our latest adventure, There's Something Wrong with Miss Zelda. Then there was the play that they wrote titled, Stake Out, that featured Hattie and Miss Fanny doing their thing.  It was produced at the 2014 Indy Fringe Theatre Festival and the play turned out to be one of the top 10 grossing plays in the festival.  Not to shabby, huh?

This year Evans and Rhodes have had the privilege of being invited to speak to numerous book clubs.  They've participated in several book festivals, all the while working on the upcoming book that will feature our next adventure.  It's called, Whose Knife Is It Anyway? 

Yes, the ladies have done well by us in 2014.  Many of our accomplishments have been chronicled right here on our blog.  You never know what we'll do next, so be sure to keep reading!

We're looking forward to new adventures and new experiences in 2015.  We hope you'll join us and continue to enjoy us!

LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU

 

            Folks, I got to tell you that as sure as my name is Miss Fanny Mae Collier, it will be a long time before I go to a movie with a teenager or young adult again.  My friend’s granddaughter, Tina, had a birthday a little while ago and I offered dinner and a movie as her present.  Of course, I let her pick the movie.  She chose something called Interstellar.

          There I sat, watching Earth turn into a giant dust bunny, while the hero flies off in a spaceship to save the world.  He’s supposed to find another planet for humans to migrate to.  So this guy flies through worms--a hole full of worms -- or whatever, nearly drowns on a planet full of water, nearly freezes on another planet and jumps into a black hole just to end up...  Hell, I don’t know!  All I can say is that by this time I was too through with this movie!  I didn’t get it and the theater had the music so loud, I couldn’t hear half of what they were saying.  Not that it would have mattered. 

          Tina is a bright girl and she’s into science and space and all that.  For my money, I’d rather have enjoyable entertainment that doesn’t require a PhD to figure it out.  My advice to you blog readers is that you would be better off going to see the play that me and my nutty daughter-in-law, Hattie were in.  It’s called Stakeout and it was funny, even if I say so myself.  Plus it had some touching moments between me and Hattie.

          If the play is not being performed near you, then buy a copy of our latest adventure, Something’s Wrong with Miss Zelda.  Soon we’ll have a new book called Whose Knife is it Anyway?   Both books are delightful--again, even if I have to say so myself-- and at the end you won’t sit scratching your head and wondering what happened.